We all have problems and issues in our lives that we are battling. Many of us are battling things related to relationship that cause us problems or trouble. When we’re working through issues related to relationship, it’s easy to get caught up in the things that are happening and miss what God is doing. Being in touch with our spirits is a discipline that we need to have so that we don’t become caught up in ourselves missing the Father’s heart in the process.
The Lord always has a plan and way of wanting things handled. We go through issues every day and the “How” we respond is just as important as the “What” we’re saying part is.
With each passing conflict we have with people, we must seek the Father for his heart, both as deliverers of a message as well as receivers of one. If you’re delivering a hard message, how would you want that message said to you? What is his heart for the person you plan to speak to? It is to really blast them and give them a piece of your mind or is it a gentler steering to another direction? You can bet that the Lord is not in the first part but is definitely in the last.
Honestly, inside all of us we know how we feel. Our feelings are an indicator for what is inside of us. If you’re boiling over, now is not the time to communicate something to someone, nor is it likely to be communicated in a way that the Lord would want. So feel free to stuff that one in a box for a day or two until you cool off a bit. Your flesh is too raw to do anything right and besides, your spirit needs to be in charge.
By the same token, if you’re a receiver, are you defensive and hurt or is there something in the message of correction that could be true? Regardless of whether something is delivered rightly or wrongly, the question we must ask ourselves is if there is any truth to it?
Open attacks are always devoid of God’s love and heart and you can definitely reject the way the message is delivered if it was intended for harm. But you should pay close attention to the “what” part of any conflict to see if what caused the conflict was something you did. Just because a message is delivered improperly, doesn’t mean it had no validity. People may be responding with the right message in the wrong way.
I recently had to deal with a situation involving some conflict. My instinct and flesh desperately wanted to play along with the flesh that was coming my way. But God called me to another level because first I prayed and sought after the Lord seeking what HE wanted to do in that matter before I took full and foolish control of it. Instead, he gave me his heart for the situation. He made me less sensitive, less volatile, and even put distaste in my mouth for anything that might be perceived as defensive even though the Lord showed me that I had done nothing wrong. In short, he moved me to respond in the opposite spirit.
In most times of conflict we will have opportunities to lash back or to respond in the opposite spirit. You will always know the difference of when something is coming at you, fashioned as an attack as opposed to quiet instruction from the Lord. So when it is in the form or an attack, take a deep breath and ask the Lord for his heart. Don’t defend yourself and instead listen and give yourself some time to think and pray what is happening before you respond. Don’t be afraid to tell someone that you heard what they said and will get back to them. Seek the Lord’s heart in all situations, respond in the opposite spirit and then watch what he does. You’ll be amazed at how much better you will feel.